Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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