their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
