Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
