You smell like a Billy Joel song
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
