even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
