hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
