Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
