that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
