Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
