Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it's great music for shaving your balls
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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