This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
