yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
