My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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