Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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