Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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