And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you win again, gameday.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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