I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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