Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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