laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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