Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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