she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
