We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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