Duck Duck Cougar?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
