my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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