btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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