Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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