And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
