I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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