I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
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