There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
