i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
