so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
