would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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