we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
