Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I currently don't understand fingers.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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