Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
