I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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