I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
