After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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