I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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