We're like a lot better than the average bears
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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