May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
