i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
