is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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