I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
