How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
