I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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