She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
