The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
