I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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